My Writings

 Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:



 8:00am Dog food! My favorite thing!

 9:30am A car ride! My favorite thing!

 9:40am Walk in the park! My favorite thing!

10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

12:00pm Lunch! My favorite thing!

 1:00pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

5:00pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!

7:00pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!

11:00pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


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 Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

 

Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre 

dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other 

inmates and myself are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets.

 

Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I

nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The
 
only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape. In an attempt to

disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their

feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it 

clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made

condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The 

audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices 

tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the

event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I

overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I

must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.



Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my

tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try

this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
snitches. 

The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems

to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded! The bird 

has got to be an informant. I observe him communicating with the

guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The

captors have  arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell,

 so he is safe ... for now ...